NFL & Comic Bookson December 9, 2010 at 8:34 pm
It’s been a wild ride thus far in the NFL season and since I have no idea how it’s going to end, it got me to thinking, How would the 2010 NFL season end if a comic book writer were scripting it:
J. Michael Straczynski: Agrees to write a spectacular ending in which Jets take on Falcons, but ultimately gets pissed and forces a closed door rewrite where the whole season is disregarded and the championships for the three previous decades are negated.
Brian Michael Bendis: Superbowl between Patriots and Packers is filmed as a 2-week long reality tv show where we get to know the players without their helmets on. Ultimately, we find out Tom Brady is the new Spider-man and while he has always been ‘all business’, he claims that’s only in the front and assures us there is definitely some partying going on in the back.
Judd Winick: Patriots versus Giants written exactly like it was February 2009 only the Patriots win and nobody gives a sh*t.
Grant Morrison: Ray Lewis takes a trip to Katmandu, talks to aliens and learns a magical spell to make sure the Ravens get into the Superbowl where they face the Falcons who show up at the stadium riding a large symbol and eating time capsules full of their unspent youth.
Gail Simone: Jets versus Rams in a game of paper football. It’s an upset with lots of quips and shots of Sanchez trying on women’s boots. Cameo of Brett Favre asking Rex Ryan if he got his text.
Mark Millar: Mike Vick, who turns out to be a huge comic book fan, wins the Superbowl and MVP against Pittsburgh… Takes a dump on the Lombardi, then bends the commissioner over and f*cks him sideways while looking into the camera saying, “This is you, America.”
Garth Ennis: Similar to Millar only funnier and Pittsburgh wins. Highlights include Big Ben raping Vick doggie style and Philly fans pissing on their own mascot.
Geoff Johns: The teams of the NFL put aside their differences and band together with other American pro sports teams to battle the upcoming invasion of Soccer. Everybody gets Superbowl Rings that light up.
Alan Moore: Writes arguably one of the best Superbowls in history, then sees it on film, disowns it and moves on to write “Fairy Boys” – a 500-page saga about Hall of Fame NFL Players exploring their sexuality with the mascots of their respective teams.
I have no idea what spawned this blog into my head, but please, feel free to add your own ideas to the comments or let me know which one you think is most likely to happen or heck, yell at me for being so awesome.